Being Passionately Loved by the Lord

Lately, I have been struggling with the concept of being loved and valued by the Lord. In my head, I understand that God loves me and my identity is set in Him. I know that, as Psalm 139 says, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." I could not adequately describe what I was struggling with or why. But one scene in the movie, Prince Caspian (Narnia), especially was moving to me. It was the scene in which Lucy meets Aslan (a type of Christ). She runs to him, and he delights in her and embraces her.

"That's what I desire," I thought, "for the Lord to delight in me, to enjoy me."

Skimming through Terry Teykl's book, The Presence Based Church, has given language to my struggle. I have been approaching the Lord with a Mary heart but through Martha's eyes. (See Luke 10:38-41). I have a heart passionate to sit at the feet of Jesus and worship. However, I somehow thought He was seeing me as a Martha--having good intentions, but needing correction and not quite good enough.

Alicia Britt Chole also brought clarity through some audio CDs from her Women's Bible Study material on Choices. Father God values us regardless of what we do or what we look like, but simply because we are . . . His Creation and meant to worship Him! In that way, my perceptions of myself and the Lord impact my perceptions of others and the Lord.

So from Teykl's material . . . . I want to break away from loving Jesus and working so hard to please Him and move to being completely dependent on His Holy Presence in my life.

“David was a private worshiper throughout all the phases of his life . . . And because he worshiped personally, the Presence spilled out from his spirit and overflowed into his public life. David, like Moses, had a habitual hunger for God.” Teykl p. 170

“The Presence based church, like Mary, ‘gets’ Jesus at a whole different level—it is a church so overwhelmed by the revelation of His Presence in their midst that they can’t help falling at his feet in worship at every opportunity. They share with Jesus a unique love relationship. They don’t count the cost nor worry over their own reputation as they lavish upon Him their love and adoration. They are the offering, humbled and smitten by the Lord of glory. So extravagant is their love that they will expend any or all of their resources just to minister to Him. In return, Jesus defends the Presence based church and bestows on it His favor and blessing. It is special to Him because it ministers to Him in a way that only He really understands.” Teykl p. 234